I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I bet he comes in French.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
