Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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