its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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