I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize