she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
