How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
