why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
