glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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