does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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