Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Randomize
