There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I need moral support for this bender
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
