Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
