He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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