i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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