He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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