So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
