Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
