Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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