You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
