If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
