WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize