i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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