I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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