Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
