i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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