You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she looked like the before picture.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
