yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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