Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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