so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
