R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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