i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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