Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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