So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize