Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
