four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
