puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
