I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Randomize
