just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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