my being single is dangerous.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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