have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
