okay pat passed out under dana's car
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
