If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
