Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
