Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
