I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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