actually, I'm a sock model
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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