a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
