Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
