We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
