He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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