I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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