He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
