you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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