don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
