I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize