can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
vagina is talking i cant
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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