We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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