My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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